Chocobabe’s Blog

[Before I being to talk more about the title of this entry, I'd like to introduce a friend's blog - thought provoking, sheer genius, I might add! So if you're looking for more inspiration, look no further. Have a read of the first song he wrote:

Dreams Come True

I reiterate my comment made on that entry....WOW! :-)  Like to see more of Raphie Frank? Click here ]

I recently came across a poem I had started writing ages ago. It basically stemmed from witnessing people’s lack of self-esteem (particularly girls) with regard to their body type and image. I too have found myself well frustrated at finding it so hard to put on weight (due to a high metabolic rate).

I guess this poem started out as an outlet, a feel-good scenario, but after finishing it up and reading it through, I know for sure it is similar to a number of true stories, which just highlights the message that you should simply be yourself and be comfortable with who you are no matter what.

I have now managed to complete this poem (I must warn you - it’s long!), being prompted by a sad news story that a model, in an effort to shed more and more weight, became severely anorexic and passed away a couple of days ago. I hope by sharing this poem, I can help those who look in the mirror and see ‘ugly’, to change their ideologies and see beautiful instead. Because that is what you are: Simply Beautiful.

I sit at my table, quite alone,
It’s always the same, even at home.
My hands on my chin, I let out a sigh,
I swear it, I could scream, "Why? Why? WHY?"
Ok, so I may not be a model,
Instead of singing, I yodel.
Infact, well….I am quite fat,
But what the Hell’s wrong with that??

School mates tend to laugh at me,
I wish I could make them see.
They’re always trying to bring me down,
"Hey guys, I’m not your Class Clown!"
Whatever I seem to do,
Their responses are "Get a clue!"
In total exasperation, I turn to work,
I hear one whisper, "What a jerk!"

And so here I am, my name’s Cassie,
The only child, the good old Lassie.
The one with no friends, the big fat Saint,
Ok, I’d better stop….hyperventilation makes me faint!
You can’t blame me for being a bitter old hag,
When it comes to looks, I’ve hit an impossible snag!
With frizzy hair and spots on my chin,
Crooked teeth…sheesh…how can I win?
So instead, I devote myself fully to books,
I’ll cash in on a degree, certainly not on looks!

So here I am, my nose in my book,
I suddenly hear my name, and sneak a look…
….at this gorgeous guy who’s standing infront of me,
My look turns to stare and he repeats, "Cassie?"
My hands begin to shake and my mouth goes dry,
What could I possibly say to such a handsome guy?
My lips somehow move and I croak out, "Hello."
He smiles at me…I’m going quite pale…infact, touching yellow.
"I hope you don’t mind," he said to me,
"You look quite alone…is this seat free?"
I slowly manage to nod my head,
"I’d like to join you for lunch," he said.

The next hour is the best I remember,
Him and me on that table, that cold wintry December.
Everyone else was staring at us,
I don’t believe that I had ever caused such a fuss!
Derek, his name was, cute, tan and tall,
He was talking to ME…if I was standing, heck, I’d fall!
We had so much in common, him and I,
So it wasn’t just his looks…it was everything…what a guy!
From books to science, to music as well,
You name it, we liked it…we must have been under a spell!

The lunch hour was over much too soon,
And all I could think about was him…the whole afternoon.
At night, as I lay curled up in bed,
All sorts of thoughts started to enter my head.
So he was new, he didn’t know any better,
Once he’d met REAL friends, he’d be sending me a goodbye letter.
Or maybe my table had the only seat free,
THAT’S why he chose to sit with me.
And surely if sitting together one would have to be polite,
And not tease, or bully or say "Hey Fatty!" in spite.
And so I told myself before going to sleep,
He really may be nothing but a creep.
Don’t expect him to sit with you tomorrow,
Coz if you do…the rest of your day will be filled with sorrow.
Tend to your books like the good girl you are,
Don’t get swallowed up by the cute guy with a big car.

The following day I’m at the table again,
I look out the window….torrential rain.
I hear a creak and turn around to see
Familiar hazel eyes staring right back at me.
"Derek, you came back!" I could hardly stutter,
"Of course I did!" he grinned…my heart was in a flutter.
"I didn’t expect to see you," I said, dropping my knife wth a clatter,
"You’re great company, Cassie," he said, "and that’s all that matters!"

We hear a snort and look up in surprise,
A big bully towers above us….they call him Will the Wise.
He bellows, "You should know better than to sit with that fat wench,"
"All she does is read her book and she practically lives on that bench!"
Everyone in the cafeteria suddenly stops talking,
People who are leaving, halt on their walking.
I feel myself go all red,
Suddenly, I’d much rather be dead.
Tears start to fall and I get up to go,
Derek stops me, and says to Will, "How can you stoop so low?"
"If you really want to talk about a goon,"
"All you need to do is look in a mirror, you big baboon!"
Will was stumped, he didn’t know what to say,
No one ever stood upto him, that is until today.
"Cassie and I were talking, or couldn’t you see?"
"And so now, like a good primate, go back to your tree!"
Derek stood there, continuing to look mad,
All everyone could do was mutter, "man" or, "egad!"
Will, ego deflated, left the table quite red,
All he wanted to do right now was hide under a bed.

I had sat there the entire time,
Before today, I hadn’t been worth a dime.
I really couldn’t believe my ears,
All I could stupidly say was a soft, "Cheers."
He patted my hand and gave me a smile,
"It’s been a long time since I’ve done that…yes, quite a while!"
"Why did you stick up for me?" I managed to ask in the end,
"Because," he said quite simply, "you are my friend!"

The days and weeks went quite fast,
My present looked sunny, unlike my dreary old past.
Derek and I were seldom apart,
Infact you could say, we were connected heart to heart.
He was beautiful inside, as well as out,
"He’s the best friend in the world!" I would proudly shout!
What he saw in me, I had no clue,
He always wanted to be with me, even when I had the flu.

A year later, he asked me on a date,
I was so nervous, yet careful not to be late.
At the table I asked, "Why me?"
He chuckled, "Oh Cassie, you are so silly!"
"Don’t you know I’m crazy about you?"
"You are so funny, honest, pretty and true."
"You think I’m pretty?" I ask in surprise,
"Oh yes," he replied, "you have beautiful eyes!"
"And no," he said, "You’re not what I’d call fat."
"You’re perfect to me, and so that’s that!"

"Let me tell you something, " he went on with a frown,
"I was burnt quite badly and it really got me down."
"I was only six years old at the time,"
"And a jealous friend was responsible for the crime."
"No one would talk to me, just like with you,"
"So I know exactly what you’ve gone through."
"I was miserable and sad, incredibly weak,"
"But a voice said inside of me, ‘Stand up and speak!’"
"So that’s what I did and now here I am,"
"It’s you that’s important, the rest don’t mean a damn!"
"You’re my best friend," I said in glee,
"You’re really the best thing that’s happened to me."
"You’ve taught me so much….I thank you my dear,"
"My world has become so crystal clear."

The years go by, one by one,
Two successful doctors, we’ve now become.
And here I am on my Wedding Day,
"That plain old girl really did it," I hear old classmates say.
"She’s confident, she’s calm, her clothes are always neat,"
"Infact, we must admit, Cassie is very very sweet!"

Derek gently presses my hand as we walk down the aisle,
I look up at him…we exchange a happy smile.
At the reception, we dance in each others arms,
Just him and I, to the wonderful tones of Brahms.
"I love you Derek," I say, as we head out to the car,
"And I love you, Cassie," he says softly with a kiss, "just the way you are!"

This entry was posted on Saturday, November 18th, 2006 at 10:12 am and is filed under November 2006. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.